How to Find Support as a NICU Parent: A Comprehensive Guide
Here’s the truth: there is a glaring lack of support right now for struggling NICU parents. Even though prematurity is common–affecting one out of every ten births–parent’s mental, physical, and emotional needs are continuing to be left unmet.
Many NICU parents are facing trauma, depression and anxiety, financial stress, and trouble getting to and from the hospital. While their baby is getting the life support they need (doctors, machines, and therapists), parents are being cast to sea without a life raft.
This was my experience. Over the course of my daughter’s 77-day stay in the NICU, I struggled to stay afloat. Slowly, I learned how to get the support I needed, but it wasn’t until after the NICU that I was able to compile the resources, tools, and methods I needed to navigate my journey with confidence.
That’s why I wanted to create a comprehensive guide for you, NICU mom. I want you to be able to find the support you need so that you can make space for what really matters: taking care of yourself and your baby.
So, without further ado, here is a step-by-step guide to finding support as a NICU parent.
Seek Help From Friends and Family
You can’t do this alone, and that is okay. When you’re in the hospital watching your little one hooked up to monitoring machines with tubes and IV lines in their arms, the thought of buying groceries and doing laundry is nowhere on the list of your priorities–and rightfully so.
The more your friends and family can do to take the little things off your plate, the more mentally free you are to be present with your baby. The special, important moments you get to have with them deserve your full attention and joy, and should be unimpeded by the weight of everyday tasks.
As NICU moms (and as women), we often find it difficult to ask for help. But I can tell you from personal experience that the people who love you would rather help you than see you struggle. So when someone asks, “How can I support you?” don’t be afraid to be honest about what you need.
Delegate anything you can: groceries, errand runs, rides to and from the hospital. If you need snacks, ask. If you need a shoulder to cry on, ask. If you need to take a break to go get your nails done so you can decompress, ask! You might be surprised how eager your loved ones are to band together to help you and your baby thrive.
Seek Community With Other NICU Parents
Even though preterm birth is common, odds are you don’t have a lot of people in your friend group who have experienced it firsthand. When I sat those long hours in the NICU, I found myself googling stories about other preemie parents. I was craving a roadmap, or some kind of shared experience I could find comfort and solace in.
These days, I connect with other NICU moms and dads all the time. We share our stories, talk about our experiences, and navigate life together as parents of preemie kids.
Finding community might look like connecting with other moms in the NICU, following preemie parents on Instagram, or finding a mentor or coach to walk alongside you on your journey. Whoever it is for you, don’t be afraid to reach out first. Odds are, they’re craving a sense of friendship and camaraderie the same way you are.
Explore Online NICU Parent Resources
There are a ton of NICU parent resources out there, but I’ve compiled a list of the ones I found the most helpful.
Graham’s Foundation - Their mission is to inform and guide parents of preemies so they can confidently navigate the journey of prematurity. They provide care packages, recommended resources, mentor programs, and more.
March of Dimes - They focus on issues affecting moms and babies from prematurity and health equity to maternal and infant mortality and morbidity. They're in communities ALL across the country supporting moms and babies with research, education, advocacy, and programs to be healthy and strong.
Project NICU - This organization is created for NICU parents, by NICU parents to offer them resources on their journey from the hospital and beyond.
Project Sweet Peas - This non-profit provides support to families and caregivers of premature or sick infants and families impacted by pregnancy and infant loss.
Hand to Hold - They provide personalized emotional support, educational resources, and community before, during, and after a NICU stay. They’re removing barriers for all NICU parents to receive emotional support at no cost.
NICU Parent Network - This organization is composed of NICU Parent Leaders who collectively represent the needs and best interests of NICU families.
FLRRiSH - This is a business I created to support NICU parents and help them feel empowered, educated, and inspired on their journey from hospital to home. I have one-on-one coaching, state-by-state therapist lists, and an audio course available. You can take a look at my tools and services here!
Support Yourself Through Self-Care
Self-care looks different for everyone. For some it might be going for a walk to feel the sunlight on their skin, for others it might be processing their feelings in a journal. Whatever it is for you–make sure you’re showing up for yourself in a way that is kind, caring, and gentle. Allow yourself to go outside, stay hydrated, and get enough to eat. Do the things that make you feel human–and most importantly, be kind to yourself.
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably full of guilt, sorting through the archives of your mind trying to remember what you might have done to cause this. If no one has told you, let me be the first: this is not your fault. Punishing yourself by reliving what you could have done over and over again is not going to help. You are a great mom, and your child is lucky to have you.
When you show up for yourself first, you’ll be more equipped to show up for your family.The NICU is not an easy journey, but you and your baby are stronger than you know. If you’re a parent searching for support, resources, or even a friend to confide in, feel free to connect with me here. I’ve made it my mission to support preemie families and I would be honored to help you on your journey!